Ode to Toto

Where for art thou dear Toto?
Your matted fur has been missed.

You were mine
only briefly,
before Mother had an idea.

Where for art thou
dear Toto?

Taken by a choice that wasn't mine.
You could be lying in a dumpster.
You were a fantastic toy.

Oh dear Toto.

Mother
what have you done?

You're about to send this email without a subject line.

Something I particularly enjoy is naming emails. I probably enjoy thinking of a subject header more than I should. I think a good header should comprise of mystery (wetting the recipients appetite) yet still somehow relate to the content of the email that you have slaved over.

So below are the some of the fruits of my previous labours, from real emails, that I have lovingly sent.

  1.  A baby's bottom.
  2.  Step aside Lady Gaga, we have a new winner of weird entrances.
  3.  Call me Judy.
  4.  Ball o' Net.
  5.  Cabbages and raincoats.
  6.  Too much too soon, and who knew?!
  7.  That poor moose.
  8.  "Your feet smell like death." "That's because they are bleeding to it."
  9.  Mountain dweller calling.
10.  A PLAGUE ON YOUR HOUSES!
11.  Like one of your French girls.
12.  This is Roy.
13.  Chlochlo you just cray cray for Jojo.
14.  Snot and secrets.
15.  At last, an open window!!
16.  Thee, thy, thou.
17.  What a fine figure you have.
18.  Country of bread.
19.  Lions, Alps and Rabot.
20.  You are a BEAR.

We hope you have enjoyed this episode of: 'The names of Hannaa's old emails.' Please stay tuned for more thrilling content.

"I'll have that, with a side of rust please."

I have just googled:

What will happen if I eat rust?

Look at what my life has become.

Did Someone Say Buffet?

Being an art student, I collect strange things. My current project involves insects, so I have some dead moths on my floor to draw later. So there I am, innocently colouring in my drawing of a mountain that was spread out on my floor. (As it is rather large.) Just minding my own business. 

And then I notice something. 

I turn to look at my collection of dead creatures (as all monsters do) and I notice there is a new one. A big one. An alive one. A massive spider. The one type of insect I can't really deal with. 

Clearly he thought he had found some new friends. 

Or a delicious buffet.

Figs and Laguna

Eating figs and watching Laguna Beach is not the answer.

A Year in a Day

Yesterday I came to a very sad and scary realisation. For some unknown reason, I've been having a taste for watching The Hills. As a result, (and partly due to my obsessive personality) I have managed a terrible feat. I have watched a year of someone's life, in a day of my own. That is a worrying thing.

Mission Possible

• Mission: To embarrass self on train.

• Status: Successful.

• How: Curly-haired girl eats sandwich, with half the filling falling out in her hair, on herself and most importantly, on the woman she is sitting next to, who politely ignores what just transpired. Worst thing? My mouth was too full to say sorry, and too much time had passed for me to acknowledge what had happened.

• Result: Awkward.